When Silence is not Golden: Teaching the Reticent Student

Molly Robinson Kelly, Teaching Excellence Program, Lewis and Clark College

“Does not everything depend on our interpretation of the silence around us?” 

― Lawrence Durrell, Justine

Many wise proverbs, as well as wise people, place a high value on silence. One has only to do a quick online search for quotes on silence to realize that a majority of them extol silence as of great benefit to humanity. As scholars and intellectuals, many of us probably enjoy and even need the silent, meditative spaces that are so conducive to deep thought. Yet as teachers, silence – specifically, the silence of our students – can be discomfiting, even terrifying. Who has not stood in front of a classroom and asked a thought-provoking question we felt sure would generate vibrant discussion, only to encounter a silence as awkward as it is resolute? Who has not asked for a volunteer to solve a problem or share an answer, only to find themselves in front of a classroom of stubbornly downcast eyes? There are few things that can destroy a teacher’s confidence as quickly as their students’ silence, especially in the smaller classrooms of a liberal arts college, where lively discussions are thought to be the hallmark of a productive class.

Things get even more uncomfortable when a particular student’s silence takes on the quality of rock: hard, unchanging, immovable. In my own classrooms, as well as in classrooms I have observed, I have seen students enter and leave class without removing their backpacks or uttering a single word. I have seen them taking up a seat at the far edges of a classroom or as near to the door as they can manage. I have seen them sit for an entire class period, their eyes riveted on the floor or, occasionally, on their phones. I once saw a student pull her hoodie strings so tightly around her face that only her eyes showed. As her classmates engaged in stimulating discussion with the professor and each other, she sat, never looking up, repeatedly tying and untying the strings in a bow. These were classrooms in which a majority of students were having a satisfactory educational experience; in which only a student or two sat literally on the margins, disengaged and thoroughly non-participatory. Everything in the body language of such students says, don’t call on me, don’t speak to me. In many cases, we comply with their unspoken request. We focus, quite understandably, on the students who make us feel successful as teachers. Sometimes, it’s easier to let our most reticent students remain in the seats on the edge or in the back row, literally and figuratively outside our line of vision.

Yet, we don’t feel good about it. None of us want our students to feel excluded or marginalized, yet the reticent student’s behavior seems to indicate that this is exactly what they are feeling. We want our classrooms to be inclusive, yet sometimes, despite our best efforts, not everyone seems to feel included. What to do about this situation? I have no easy answers, but I have a few ideas that might be worth testing if you have a reticent student in your class.

• Notice. No matter what, notice. If there is a student in your class who rarely if ever participates; who always sits on the edge or in the back or somewhere you can barely see them; who doesn’t talk to fellow classmates; whose eyes are glued to a phone or computer screen: NOTICE THIS. Refuse to gloss over this situation for yourself. It’s important.
• Acknowledge it: they feel marginalized. In your class. Whether or not you intend it, they do. And feeling marginalized is painful and not conducive to learning. For the most part, our students are young, and not yet fully equipped to manage the life experiences that may have made them feel like perpetual outsiders. They would almost certainly prefer that things be otherwise. If they knew what to do to feel included, they would do it. Arguably, it’s your job to show them the way.
• Make eye contact. At the very least, include them with your eyes. Look at them often throughout class, in your best attempt at a friendly, welcoming gaze. Think of your eyes as the first portal of entry to inclusion. Your eyes alone can tell them they belong.
• Realize there may be many reasons for why they are this way, and most of them are NOT YOU. Among them:
  • Their race, ethnicity, gender, socio-economic background, sexual orientation, or other life situation has made them feel like outsiders many times. If you teach on a very “white” campus, these feelings of not belonging will likely be exacerbated. Your reticent student may be grappling with feelings of exclusion you cannot fully understand.
  • They are experiencing stereotype threat. They may believe that others will see them as not good at this, because they belong to a group historically thought to not to be good at this.
  • They are dealing with imposture syndrome, hindered by the belief that they are not as good as their peers and that their deficiency will be discovered at any moment.
  • They are shy, reserved, or introverted and less comfortable speaking in front of a group than others. Maybe they like to think everything through and feel confident before they speak.
  • They (and possibly you and their classmates) have made a habit of them not speaking or participating. Now, many weeks into the semester, the mere act of speaking may feel like breaking an unwritten law.
• Realize it could be you. Do a careful self-examination to see if there are ways in which you are making some students feel more or less valued / capable / interesting / appealing to you than others. We all have blind spots. Try to find where yours show up in the classroom.
• Don’t miss an opportunity for positive reinforcement. If a reticent student speaks or shows engagement of any kind, make sure it becomes a pleasant and rewarding experience for them. If they have a good day in class, make the most of it. Let them know you noticed, by validating their contribution in class and maybe even telling them after class how much you loved hearing from them.
• Communicate. If the student is reticent, it is not a good idea to call attention to it in class. Instead, show them they matter to you by emailing them or reaching out in some way outside of class. Let them know that you SEE them. You want them to believe that they are an important member of the class and that you want to know what they have to say.
• Tell your class often, without singling anyone out or making it personal, that everyone’s voice is important. Say it, and mean it. But also, and lastly:
• Consider redefining participation. Open your mind to the possibility that people may have other ways of being engaged with your teaching than what is traditionally defined as “participation.”

Your reticent student may have prepared the material and have much to contribute, but may feel uncomfortable sharing their as-yet unformed thoughts and questions verbally in front of a group of strangers. (Especially if they suspect deep down that those strangers are smarter than them.) Instead of insisting that they talk, give all of your students – not just the reticent ones – a chance to show their engagement in a variety of ways. People learn and process information differently: through speaking, yes, but also through writing, drawing, questioning of others, and even simple, attentive listening. Silence is not always empty of meaning or thought. It probably wouldn’t hurt our teaching or our students’ learning for us to grow a little more comfortable with it.